11/12/12 Center City Comedy Sign Up Policy
Center City Comedy at the Raven Lounge will now need to adhere to a strict sign up policy from here on out.
We will cut off at 35 comedians or at 11 pm, whichever comes first. Sign ups start at 8:30 pm.
Our show must be ended by 1:55 every week so Raven Lounge employees can conduct their closing duties. It must also be kept in mind that the Raven Lounge has neighbors that are not businesses. They are citizens of the city and we must remember they are trying to rest. This new policy will ensure that we are finished with the show by closing time, and that every comedian will be given a fair amount of stage time. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause in the future.
- Center City Comedy
10/16/12 Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle started comedy when he was 14. That is almost impossible anymore. First of all, no 14 year old has the foresight to consider what they want to do for a living, let alone make a decision and do it. Second of all, in a comedy world that is becoming increasingly more adult in a world that is becoming increasingly more sensitive and politically correct, it’s hard to conceive a way in which a minor can perfect their act, let alone find an outlet for it in 2012. Dave Chappelle grew up in a time where comedy was more abundant and easily accessible to the public. This is one of my favorite set’s Chappelle ever did. It is a testament to all his hard work and success, as well as a great lesson for the time and work that young comedians like myself need to put in to get to his level.
10/9/12 4 More Years
This week is an important week for Center City Comedy. We will be celebrating our 4 year anniversary at the Raven Lounge! What started like any other open mic has become a powerhouse of Philadelphia comedy. We have worked diligently week after week to figure out the best method to produce a quality show for our fans, friends, strangers and most importantly, comedians. We have had comedians from all over the city and the country grace our stage. That fact alone fills all of us with an intense amount of pride. Although this show is a Center City Comedy production, please believe that this is a team effort. Not just the Center City Comedy team, but the Philadelphia Comedy Circuit team. There are countless individuals who deserve more than a thank you from all of us, but there are just too many to get to. Just know that we cherish this show and what it stands for. Philadelphia comedy is a special thing not just because of the wealth of talent within this city, but because of the attitude. We are a city comedians who believe in brotherly love and helping one another. At the end of the show, we are all friends who genuinely want to see one another succeed. We like to think that Center City Comedy exemplifies that attitude and brotherhood at the Raven Lounge every week. We would like to thank every comedian who has ever performed with us, everyone who has stopped in the second floor bar of the Raven Lounge to laugh with us and most importantly, we would like to thank The Raven Lounge and the entire staff (John Hunter, Karen, Kevin, Candace, Evan, Stefan, etc.). With out the Raven Lounge and their support, underground comedy may never have found a home in Philadelphia as accommodating as ours . Please be sure to thank the staff at the Raven Lounge, Chris Cotton, H. Foley and Conrad Roth for everything they have given to us over the last 4 years. With out them, we would be bored and unproductive on Thursdays. I think I speak for everyone when I say 4 MORE YEARS (Was that an Obama plug? I don’t know. You decide)!
Over the last year, my writing process has changed alot. I’ve become a documentary junky. One documentary I’ve been really excited to watch was a newer one titled “Happy.” I finally found and watched it yesterday. It’s a good watch for anyone and everyone, especially if you believe you’re “depressed.” I directly related the lessons in this documentary to my life and my comedy endeavors.
9/27/12 Offensive Comedy
H. Foley forwarded me an article today about the general public being offended by particular brands of comedy. With so many comedians feeling a need to push the envelope anymore, I think it’s a good read. Follow the link below.
9/17/12 Babe Ruth: Time Traveler
Hot and fresh out the kitchen, Center City Comedy and SuperDPS.com proudly Present: Babe Ruth: Time Traveler. Don’t forget to watch the whole sketch so you don’t miss the teaser at the end of the credits!
9/6/12 Hot Chick Cop
With the help of Alex Gross and SuperDPS.com, Center City Comedy proudly presents 3 trailers for our new series, Hot Chick Cop. Watch, share, enjoy.
We would like to personally thank: Sonia Zambrana, Alex Gross, Dave Temple, Kevin Ryan, Lump, Reggie Conquest, H. Foley, Chris Cotton, Brian Finnell and Ryan Shaner for their help with this project.
9/4/12 Dane and Louie
8/25/12 Ryan Shaner
Ryan Shaner is one of my favorite comedians in Philadelphia. Coincidentally, he is also a member of Center City Comedy, a cohost at the Raven Lounge and a good friend of mine. This is his set from Philly’s Phunniest competition. His video is getting alot of views and it doesn’t seem like the momentum is slowing down at all!
8/14/12 Jim Carrey: Unnatural Act
Jim Carrey has always been one of my favorite comedians. The movie Ace Ventura Pet Detective changed my life in 1994. I knew all of Jim Carrey’s lines better than he did. It was this movie that made me understand at the age of 4 that comedy is a universal thing. Everybody likes to laugh, and humor is a part of every culture in one way or another. This is Jim Carrey’s half hour special from 1991. It’s classic Jim.
7/17/12 Louis CK
Louis and Jon. Preachin.
7/15/12 Some Old Videos
I was cleaning out my laptop and I found a whole lot of unreleased videos. So for the next few days i will be releasing some unedited videos, hopefully you’ll enjoy these video. The video I’m releasing today is 1 of 3 videos of me and two other black comedians (Dave Temple & Evan Polk) talking about a whole bunch of nothing. Enjoy.
7/3/12 The Boxer
I was in a lot of videos in the past year.
7/2/12 Raven Report
I generally try not to get too drunk on Thursday’s or any day for that matter, especially when comedy is involved. Ideally I like to have a drink or 2 to “take the edge off”, but if I drink more then that I’m not as sharp as I would like to be. Frankly I wish I were a little sharper in general, but 1 or 2 drinks aint changing that. Anyway I went early on in the first half and I tried 2 jokes I wrote that day and I think they went ok. I’m not great at writing a joke the day of, and then be able to memorize it adequately enough to tell it the way I want it to sound, but that’s just the name of the game baby. Either way I’m souped I wrote 2 jokes that I think have potential because I’ve been having trouble writing as of late.
After my early set I began to drink a little more and here are some things that followed.
I yelled at an Egyptian broad for asking me to go on the first half numerous times. I said and I quote “You’re not half as funny as you think you are” which turned out to be more like a quarter.
I yelled at a new comic in an alley.
I gave Logan advice he didn’t ask for about shit he wasn’t talking about.
I insulted Finnel after he smoked me up.
I straightened Shaner out (fag)
And I took a Cab home leaving my car on 20th and Market.
It was actually a great night besides the next day when I realized my car was towed and I had to pay upwards of 400 dollars when all was said in done with cab fare, tickets and other fees. Regardless, Viva La Resistance!
7/2/12 Boredom in Pittsburgh
Since last weekend, I’ve been in Pittsburgh visiting my girlfriend. She’s interning at Macy’s in the Robinson Mall this Summer and it’s severely cutting into our time together. Now, I could stay at her apartment all day long, or I could hang out in a mall all day to spend her one hour lunch break with her. Because I’m the world’s best boyfriend, I’ve been in a all all day. I’ve been spending my time doing the following: eating food, not buying anything, hating all of the screaming kids around me, doing homework, doing mock fantasy football drafts, people watching (I’ve realized that when a guy says he’s people watching, he’s really just ass watching) and writing jokes. Because the 4th of July is coming up, there’s a fireworks tent out in the parking lot. I was sold a massive amount of fire crackers and I have spent a considerable amount of time setting them off in the parking lot. My life sucks.
6/28/12 Hannibal Buress
Real quick. Great video about Hannibal Buress getting ready to film his special, he goes back to Chicago to hit up his old traing ground, very cool!!
6/27/12 Stanley Cup
If I had the Stanley Cup for 24hrs, I would fly to Las Vegas and go to the pawn shop from the show pawn stars and see how much they offer me for it. I love that show. I would eat shrimp cocktail out of it. I would find a little person stripper have her strip while standing in the cup but she can only keep the movie falls in the cup. Last but not least, I would find the girls who made 2 girl 1cup have them reenact that whole scene using the stanly cup on the Las Vegas Strip. Here’s the catch I wouldn’t record the girls. I would just record everyone watching reactions. So I can get a Guinness world record for most people to being recorded reacting to 2 girls 1 cup.
6/27/12 Off Topic
This is a video we did during the March Madness tournament at the Raven Lounge. We brought contestant Lisa Yost on the bus to go Off Topic with H. Foley and Conrad Roth. To see more comedians going Off Topic, check out our channel on Philly In Focus
6/26/12 Tickle Me Tuesday at the Allentown Brew Works
Tonight I’m doing a show in Allentown at the Brew Works. The Brew Works is where all the premier comedy venue in the Lehigh Valley. Every Sunday they have an open mic at the Bethlehem Brew Works, which is one of the best rooms I’ve ever been to. That open mic is a try out for the Tuesday show at the Allentown Brew Works. There isn’t a lot of comedy in the Lehigh Valley but Randy Tongue, Ryan Hill, Steven Bost and Tyler Rothrock keep these great comedy outlets popular, fun and available for anyone who wants to do comedy outside of the city. Tonight I’ll be performing with Mary Radzinski (Host of Laughs on Fairmount) and Chip Chantry (Just released Chip Chantry: Across From The Adonis).
I’m coming up on three years into comedy now, I started bouncing back and forth between Philly and the Lehigh Valley. I started with nothing at all. I had no material, no experience, no knowledge, no understanding, nothing. Now, I’ve been asked to be a part of a show produced and hosted by the same people who were with me from the start along with some of the best comics in Philly. Nights like tonight just prove my hard work is paying off. I can’t wait to go have some fun.
6/22/12 Raven Report
This past show…
There were solid blocks of time that really encapsulated why I love comedy and why I specifically love the Raven Lounge. It was a great mix of comics that are their every week (Kevin Ryan, John Nunn, Lisa Yost, Jack Martin, Brian Finnell, etc) and others who haven’t been in awhile (Dan Vetrano, Mike Casey, Pat Barker, Lucas Brothers).
I like it when shows just keep hitting you with one great set after another. It happened on the first half when Dan Vetrano was followed by the Lucas Brothers, who were followed by Ryan Shaner, who was followed by Chris Cotton. It happened again in the Second Half when Omar Scruggs proceeded Pat Barker.
The crowd were big laughers and a bit rowdy, but in a non-annoying way. I hosted the first half and did some of my older jokes that went over OK, but my crowd work was good; especially when I spoke to the large group of Puerto-Rican youth that have been frequenting the show the past couple weeks. H Foley hosted the second half and did an exceptional job while personifying the mediocrity of a comedian who drinks and smokes too much, down to his last dime and somehow still being very endearing and most importantly funny. The Third half at times is like watching a beautiful fire, that’s about to be hit by a speeding train that’s filled with dildos. Never the less, it has it’s charm and intern Chris Whitehair does an exceptional job of being that train conductor.
In other news Kevin, the bouncer continues his mostly comical and sometimes terrifying sexual harassment of me. Gay men seem to have an affinity for me and some are more vocal then others. I probably do better then I should with women, but if I were gay I’d be cleaning up. Alex Gross of “SuperDPS” DJ’ed most of the night, got too drunk, told me 6 times my girlfriend texted him about his quizzo (Wednesday’s at the Raven), and told me I have 3 funny jokes, and then moments later thought about it and changed his mind to 4. John Nunn also got too drunk, but that’s par for the course. I ended my night with those two drunks and Ryan Shaner at “Little Pete’s” Diner where we noticed there was a fly in one of the cheese fries, which we talked Nunn into eating with little effort. Overall a wonderful night filled with, laughs, drinks, insults, impending fear of rape, and a fat guy eating a bug.
6/21/12 Chip Chantry
This week our good pal Chip Chanrty released his new comedy album Chip Chantry: Across From The Adonis. Chip as you all know is very funny and a Philadelphia comedian. I just wanted to give a shout to Chip and wish him best of luck with it and I am sure this is the first of many, so head over to itunes and pick it up!!
6/20/12 Babe Ruth
Babe Ruth was an Icon for almost over two decades during the start of the 20th century. He’s an iconic American figure that is still relevant in today’s culture. Men like Ruth just don’t go away. They have a lasting impact on history that continues to influence generation after generation. This is his farewell address at Yankee Stadium.
Spending a majority
I’m taking a bus into Philly tonight. I’ve got a couple things coming up that I need to be in the city for. There’s nothing out of the ordinary happening in the city tonight, but there’s nothing going on in the Lehigh Valley, either. Even though I’ll be getting in shortly before the show starts tonight, I’m pretty excited to go to NoChe on 19th and Chestnut. NoChe is one of my favorite open mics because it is notoriously one of the toughest rooms in Philadelphia. However, it’s been around for probably a year and a half, two years now and it has become an integral part of the Philadelphia comedy community. The guys over at Rittenhouse Comedy always produce a fantastic show and people are always coming back for more. I can honestly say that a good set at NoChe means a little more to me than a good set anywhere else because you need to earn it in this room, and it’s not an easy thing to do.
6/9/12 Here We Go Magic
Even though Conrad hates this, I sometimes come across a song that I love and listen to it non stop. For a while I got caught up in the whole Gotye buzz, just like everyone else, but that was so last week (still a great song and I am not at all embarrassed for starting to cry while singing it at karaoke last weekend at Yakitory Boy) . Today I give you my new favorite song and video, that will surely make every one think i am gay, but it’s pretty and I like it! I really think good music in the pop field is coming back strong, I also like to tweet and drink vanilla lattes now, so, see what you think. -H.Foley with @herewegomagic
6/6/12 Under 1 Year In
6/5/12 Bringer Shows
Bringer shows. Man, these things are interesting. For those of you who don’t know what a bringer show is, that is where the performers are required to bring a certain amount of people to the show in order to get their stage time. If the performer doesn’t meet their quota, they don’t perform. It’s that simple. I’ve done a few of these shows and sometimes they’re great other times they’re not. Here’s a video of the last bringer show I did at Stand-Up NY. The commute was annoying, the tickets and drinks were expensive, the room was light (half of them barely spoke english), it was in the middle of the day and I had a subpar set. Either way, I hope you enjoy.
6/1/12 e-Roast of Chris Cotton
5/30/12 SIRIously Fat
Center City Comedy just released a new sketch today with the help of Reggie Conquest, Super DPS and It’s Always Funny In Philadelphia. I think it’s one of our best ever, check it out!
5/23/12 The Return of Pat Burrell
5/19/12 Pat Burrell returned to Philadelphia to retire as a Phillie. BirdText released an awesome sketch to remind us all. This sketch is great and shows why BirdText continues to be one of the most impressive comedy groups in Philadelphia. Don’t let your girl get burrelled.
No one know this but, I’m one of the stars in a TV show pilot. I’m with approximately 32 other talented and connected people on staff. We have been working on this show since last summer and we are about to go live with our first episode in a little under two months, I KNOW IT’S CRAZY!!!
At first, we wanted to take the upcoming pilot straight to the big networks and pitch them. We are 100% confident that the show is going to be a hit, as is justified by the experience the cast and crew have with television.
However, we realized it would be much smarter on our part to start out with a web-series on our own. This will give us the chance to build up our own following, so that when we do talk to different networks, we will have that following to negotiate with.
All that being said, we’ve started a kickstarter page to raise funds for the production budget, as we do not have a network’s budget to play with…yet.
Kickstarter is a platform for artists and inventors to host their ideas and offer rewards in exchange for donations. The platform is set up so that the larger amount of money you pledge to a project, the cooler the reward is that you get in return for helping get a project off the ground.
Take a look at my kickstarter page, so you can get a clear understanding of everything we are putting together, and see if there is anything you can afford to contribute to help us [kickstart] this amazing project.
Every little bit helps, even a single dollar brings us closer to fully executing a professional project that we all have put our hearts in to. Plus, when you pledge, you are guaranteed a personalized token from the show, which you will have to keep and can brag about when this show hits the big time.
Now, I understand that parting with even a single dollar can be a bit of an imposition, of all people I know. If this is the case, you can still help by spreading the word of our kickstarter page to your friends, coworkers, classmates and so on.
I can’t thank you enough for your interest, and I can’t wait to express my sincerest gratitude for your support.
5/17/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
5/15/12 Remember This?
This is classic.
May 7th 2012 marks the date I’ve officially been married for 1 year. To celebrate our first year of marriage my wife an I are going on vacation to Florida for a week. May is also the month I began stand up comedy. This will make 6 years of stand up comedy. Me and my wife have been together for 7 years. I’ve been out High School for 7 years. I have no idea why I’m writing this. Have fun being sad, while I’m having sex and soaking up the sun.
5/15/12 Good Stuff
I’ve been able to shed a lot of negativity recently and have been happy, for the most part. Had some much needed good shows in Bristol, PA this weekend and a lovely Mother’s Day. It’s good to get out on the road and away from NY from time to time, because it can get brutal in the city. Last night, I advanced in the Laughing Devil Festival and have my quarter final round on Wednesday. I’m trying to make some waves in this contest to help me get some momentum in this town.
5/12/12 Crazy Cookies
Insomnia Cookies are delicious, but something is definitely not right with them. I think they sprinkle them with meth. I was sleepy then I ate 2 insomnia cookies an attempted to run the New York marathon. My emotions were out of control I went from giggling like a school girl to threaten to stab my friend with a sharpened spoon. Those cookies were forged from delicious evil.
That’s it, folks. This is a wrap on my year a Temple; semester’s over. By extension, that means my internship with Center City Comedy is done. I want to sincerely thank everyone at Center City Comedy and in this community that helped me throughout the experience: H. Foley, Tom Cassidy, Conrad Roth, Chris Cotton, Ryan Shaner, all of Rittenhouse Comedy, Laughs on Fairmount, WitOut, Comcast, Helium, Everyone who has come to the Raven Lounge and anyone else who helps us make what we do possible. I have learned several lessons with Center City Comedy that I could have never been taught in a classroom. I just hope that I did as much for this company as they did for me. Either way, you’ll continue to see me playing the 1′s and 2′s at the Raven Lounge on Thursdays and hosting the 3rd half until further notice. I’m looking forward to the opportunity to being a part of any project Center City Comedy puts their time and effort into in the future and I can’t wait to see the progess we make in the months and years to come.
Thanks again, Center City Comedy.
P.S. Yall hear that Meek Mill tape? Shit’s fire.
5/7/12 Raven Report
5/7/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
5/7/12 Crazy Cookies (unedited)
Insomnia Cookies are delicious, but something is definitely not right with. I think they sprinkle them with meth. I was sleepy then I ate 2 insomnia cookies an attempted to run the New York. My emotions were out of control I went giggle like a school girls to threaten to stab my friend with a sharpened spoon. Those cookies were forged from delicious evil.
5/7/12 Blogs and Tour
Hey y’all. Today I am releasing a back log of the blogs from last week from the rest of the guys at CCC. Chris Cotton’s blogs are unedited and posted exactly how he submitted them. You’ll love Cotton’s blogs if you find horrendous grammar amusing, not that mine are any better. “Did you graduate high schoool!?” -Foley (to Chris after reading his previous blogs).
In other news, Center City Comedy is putting together and continuing our nice little tour. May 23rd we are at Mad River in Old City Philly and June 15 we are at the Sunnybrook Theatre in Pottstown, PA. Apparently, Frank Sinatra performed there!
5/2/12 Rooftop Comedy
That’s in, folks. Temple is officially out. We were beat by Emerson College last week. I was devastated. I still am. All year I’ve been saying to fellow Philly comic, Temple Student and good friend, Alex Grubard, that this was our year. I really believed that we were gonna do it. Sure, I had my doubts (but that was just to protect myself for when we lost), but I truly believed we were going to win. I don’t think any of the other teams of 4 from the other 31 schools want this as bad as Temple does (or at least as bad as Grubard and I do). Even if they do, I don’t think they hit their respective scenes as hard as the Temple comedians do. We book shows on and off campus, we go to multiple open mics a week (probably adding up to at least a half hour of stage time for each of us a week, give or take) and we let this art form consume our being. I should have tried to get an internship with an advertising agency to coordinate that with my major. Instead, being the hungry young comic that I am, I finagled it so that I can work with one of the best (if not the best) comedy production companies in the city, Center City Comedy. Would the kids from Emerson do that? Nah. They’re too busy not getting laid.
I firmly believe that Temple would have made it through had the Rooftop competition not been on such a rigid time schedule. Had they given us a proper amount of time to coordinate a meeting for our semifinal round, not only would we have been able to create a video with our entire team gelling together like we have all semester, but we would have given the judges exactly what they were looking for. The Semifinals were 50% online voting and 50% judges scoring. After I saw the videos, I just knew Emerson was going to win because they gave the judges exactly what they were looking for where as Temple was lacking in a few areas. Excuse us for being full time students who also work 30+ hours a week ON TOP of doing comedy every night of the week. Fuck you, Rooftop Comedy. Am I bitter? Hell yes I am. Am I a sore loser? Meh, yeah probably.
Regardless, this was the farthest Temple University has ever made it in this competition and I am happy to be a part of that experience. I’d like to personally thank everyone who helped us get to where we did: friends, family, comedians, strangers, etc. We couldn’t have done it all without any of you (especially considering it wasn’t our talent that got us through, but your votes)!
In other news, Raven is tomorrow. Show starts at 9. See yall then.
5/2/12 Catering, Boxing, Etc
Good day everyone! I’m still living in NY and The Life. Performing and networking until 2 AM every night. I have also been catering for money. Last week, I worked coat check for 10 hours at the Time 100 Most Influential People event. Lots of famous people, but unfortunately that’s all I can tell you as I signed a confidentiality agreement. Some events are not fun. I worked a poker fundraiser in a huge old bank and all I did was count how many times I could walk around the perimeter of the event, 102 times, an estimated 4.25 miles. Yes, I took the time to do the math at the event as well. I have also been boxing training once a week. I am in bad shape. I vomitted after 12 minutes on an elliptical machine the first week. I’m at week 5. Luckily, I am not throwing up anymore and my left, believe it or not, is vicious. In addition to the boxing, I have been continuing my Meisner Technique acting classes twice a week. This class is intense and is based in using your subconscious to truly believe a set of circumstances and live in a character’s current moment and mentality. It gets wild sometimes when getting into the mind of a killer or someone who is devastated. It feels real and is emotionally draining to watch as well as perform. I went to sleep sad last night.
4/26/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
4/24/12 Rooftop Comedy
Temple University advanced to the Semifinals of Rooftopcomedy.com’s National College Comedy Competition. I’d like to personally thank each and every person for voting for us against NYU in the Quarterfinals. However, I can’t do that. I’ll just keep it to a blog post. The next round is an online smack talking round against Emerson College. The next round starts Wednesday at 3 PM eastern time (Noon pacific time).
After recording my portion of the video on oovoo.com earlier today, I felt half decent about it. I had to do it separate from the rest of the team due to scheduling conflicts. That certainly put us at a disadvantage, but I don’t believe anyone can match our hustle when it comes to getting online votes. For that reason, I remain confident. Either way, I’ll know if we advanced to the finals by Friday night. If we need to worry about it, we’ll know if we won the whole thing by May 3. Stay tuned, folks.
4/20/12 California Report
My journey to Los Angeles was a lonely yet revealing and rewarding one. This is the first time I’ve traveled by myself on a trip of this magnitude; magnitude-meaning distance and time, and that’s a tough fact to digest being a 26 year old male who claims to be a comedian.
My main reason for taking this trip was to see if this was a place I would like to live and pursue my still very young comedy career. In essence I would be comparing the comedy scenes of Philadelphia, where I started and still reside, and New York, where I have been actively traveling to for the past 5 or 6 months once or twice a week.
It’s important to know that most of my life I have romanticized California, especially Los Angeles. I had been twice before, once with my father at the age of 6 and once a year ago with a couple friends on New Years Eve. Both times previous, added to the idea I had in my head. This time however I had no travel companion. I wasn’t going as a child to see Universal Studios, although I did end up going (The Simpson’s ride is terrific). I wasn’t going to party, although I did spend a night in UCLA (Tuesday mug nights are terrific). I was going like I said earlier, to check out the comedy scene.
During my 7 day voyage I had seen 2 beaches, 1 pool and performed on 7 comedy shows; which consisted of 2 comedy clubs, (MI’s West and The Comedy Store), 2 Bars (BrewCo and RedRock), 2 cafes (Rock, Paper, Scissor and Tribal), and 1 hotel (Hollywood) which roughly translates into 42 to 45 minutes of time on stage.
Out of the 7 shows, 2 of them were booked non-open mics and they were where I had the most fun on stage and saw some very funny acts. The open mics were generally light in crowd and were flooded with a high volume of comedians, some good, some not aware your supposed to tell jokes when you do comedy and I think that’s because in LA there is no shortage of other showbiz jobs so people who are lets say trying to be actors try to do stand-up and don’t have a grasp of the craft. Comedians from Philadelphia that have moved to LA are a good example of the many routes you can take in LA (they all happen to be very funny).
I don’t feel like naming names, but in addition to stand up, comedians from Philadelphia are doing extra work, have writing jobs, are in production, they’re featured on dating reality shows and some are just paralyzed with laziness due to what I think is fear (you know who you are). One of my favorite phrase and old television shows is Different strokes. The world don’t move to the beat of just one drum, what might be right for some… You get the point. My point is that I’m not good at focusing on more then 1 thing and what I want to focus on now is just developing as a stand-up comedian and I think the best place for me to do that is Philadelphia and more importantly New York. I hope to live in the fair city of Los Angeles one day and I hope it’s when I’m a comedian with some heat, but for now I’m east coast reppin. Plus that Tupac hologram at Coachella scared the shit out of me.
4/18/12 We Need You Dennis Rodman
The NBA is full of extremely athletic and talented players but it not entertaining to me anymore. The NBA best decade was the 90′s the players were great but the characters were spectacular. There will be another Derrick Rose but there will never be another Dennis Rodman. Ron Artest tried but he didn’t have charisma or creativity to pull it off. Plus, the NBA needs to stop drug testing for the drugs that make basketball players lives more entertaining. Basically the NBA should ease up on the drug testing on the interesting NBA Superstars. Let Lebron smoke a little crack at halftime then interview him, I would watch every heat game. I tried to watch every game Dennis Rodman played in plus pre and post game. It was no telling what he might do or say. He might dress in drag for post interview, show up drunk or grind on a player a little bit while going for a rebound. Either way I laughed and he still is one of best rebounders to play the game.
4/17/12 Rooftop Comedy
Voting starts for the rooftopcomedy competition tomorrow. Be ready to vote here: http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/college/schoolDetail?id=5
Thanks in advance.
Raven Report- 4/12/12
Well hello. I just want to take this time to let the reader know that it is not Thomas “Cat Daddy” Cassidy that writes this edition of the Raven Report but none other than Ryan “Doggy Dick” Shaner. Let’s get into it; last Thursday went off with out a hitch. Chris Whitehair and I had to take control of the wheel with one man short since Mr. Cassidy was out living it up in L.A during that week. Chris Cotton showed up to give us a hand and shit did he ever. Mr. Cotton went on to host the first half and what a half it was. Great sets by Oliver Yu, Darin Patrick, John Nunn and having Jack Martin close out the half made it great show. It started out bumpy with some “heckler’s” in the front row but most of the comic’s powered through those douche’s bull-shit and proved that if you come to a comedy show and want to project your inner self-hatred for losing your virginity to your father, on those who are on stage, you will be ignored or verbally assaulted by people who are better with words than you are. (INTERMISSION)
The second half was hosted by H. Foley. During his opening set, those ovarian mulligans in the first row started up again with nonsense comments and loud side talk. Mr. Foley quickly remedied the situation by haranguing them with a few insults about U-Penn and then pantomiming having sex while making fart noises, letting them know that is how everyone felt about their comments and their presence in general. Needless to say they kept quiet the rest of the show. Chris Whitehair took over for the “3rd” half of the show. Mr. Whitehair did a great job keeping the crowd entertained, the comedian’s egger and over all keeping the fire burning into the wee hours of the night. On top of having no real technical difficulties, last Thursday was all-around a great show. Thanks for reading and or having it read to you.
My name is Chris Cotton and I’m addicted to buffalo wings. Seriously, buffalo wings are my gateway food. I might start off eating a few wings next thing you know, cheese steak, pizza, meth, then chocolate (which is the slang for black hooker). I realized that buffalo wings are my trigger on 4/11/12 at 2:27am riding on the mega bus home from NYC. I broke into tears as I watch a guy drop one of his Buffalo wings. The last straw was when I realized I watch him eat each and noticed I had a full erection.
4/11/12 Kids With Rickets
One of Philadelphia’s newest sketch comedy groups, Kids With Rickets, stopped by the Raven Lounge awhile back to try one of their newest sketches LIVE. I fucking loved it (as you can tell by my cackle in the background). I hope you like family friendly fun!
4/10/12 Lesson Learned
If you remember the video of that heckler getting destroyed at an NYC open mic from a week or so ago, you’ll recognize the star of this video. It seems the heckler has learned her lesson, and her apology has been accepted. It makes me think back to last week at the Raven. Would we let the group of guys who were inadvertently detrimental to the second and third half come back and apologize? Probably not. Shaner was ready to murk a mother fucker, and Cat Daddy Cassidy laid down the law and banned them for a short period of time. NYC accepted their hecklers apology. Here in Philly, though, we say “Go fuck yourself.”
Side note: Don’t forget that Temple University goes head to head with NYU in the Quarterfinals of Rooftopcomedy.com’s National College Comedy Competition. The next online voting round is April 18th – April 20th. Please help send the Temple comedy team to Chicago and throw a couple of votes our way!
4/9/12 New York
I’m still living in New York. Everything is fine. I have not been drunk in 3 weeks, so that maintains my productive drive. I have drank, just not more than 2 drinks in an evening. I live in Astoria and may be getting addicted to Greek desserts. I fantasize about having a Greek mistress that would cook me delicacies of the Mediterranean after servicing me. That would be awesome!
4/5/12 Raven Report
Hello people who read the “Raven Lounge Report” (My mom, sister, girl I’m seeing and 2 other people). I’d like to start by saying thanks for reading and to apologize for not writing about last week, which was the final’s of the Raven Bracket in our 2nd Annual March Madness tournament. With that being said let’s play a little catch up. Last week Omar Scurggs and Trevor Cunnion advanced to the final’s that were held at Helium this past Tuesday. In the final both gentleman finished a very competitive and respectful 2nd (Cunnion) and 3rd place (Scruggs). Gordon Baker Bone took away the #1 spot (Congratz!). The other big winner was the successful marriage of the independent comedy scene and Helium, showing how far we’ve come in the past couple years. The show was well attended and Ryan Shaner did a heck of a job hosting. I also can’t go with out thanking Paul Goodman for putting everything together and to the Rittenhouse Comedy Collective, Laughs on Fairmount and of course the rest of Center City Comedy for having a great month.
Now onto this past Thursday, April 5th 2012, a show that will live in infamy: “The Pearl Harbor of Comedy Shows”. I’m being overly dramatic, but it was a very interesting show. This was the first show after the tournament and attendance did not skip a beat. The room was at capacity by show time and the first half was to quote my grade school pal Sean McManus, “Awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” I felt very good about my first half set and was thankful because my cousin was in the audience and the last time she saw me do comedy was at the Northeast Comedy Cabaret where I had one of my most prolifically terrible/slightly interesting sets where I got into numerous arguments with audience members, so it was a relief that I had a good set. It sucks when you do shitty around your family, but to quote the rapper Freeway “that’s the price of the game, when you’re in it you’re free!” Am I quoting to many people right now? Possibly. Moving on, Foley closed out the first half and did a great job. If I don’t mention this chances are he will passively aggressively complain that I didn’t include this in my writing. But like Foley’s Boss says at his job “Hey Fatty stop eating all the swordfish!”
Getting back on topic. I hosted the second half which was as usual a little more unruly then the first. The audience stuck around and was fair throughout the night in their response to the comics. The feature at Helium did a slightly extended set and got a very warm response, as did the return of Brandon Ketchup Wilson who has resurfaced recently. The 3rd half was hosted by young intern Chris Whitehair and had some technical difficulties early when Chris stomped on the stage with his foot and inadvertently made the spotlight swing off of it’s swivel and away from the stage and into the ceiling making the room pitch black for a minute or 2. The problem was solved by jumping on a bar stool and tightening the clamp.
Toward the very end of the show there was about 10 audience members left and 4 comedians remained. The 4th to last comedian of the night tried to usurp comedians spots throughout the night by walking up on stage when they were having trouble getting to the stage and also smoked something in the bathroom seconds before he went on stage himself. His set consisted of reading a minute excerpt from the novel “The Great Gatsby” followed by dropping the mic to the ground. He was a real class act. After that his dummy friend went and told a 7 minute story about Rick Santorum in the dessert that went 3 minutes over the light prompting Ryan Shaner who was DJ’ing to play the music on the fool. At this point no audience member remained. 2 comedians remained and I could have just let the show finish, but instead I went on stage and tried to tell these ne’er-do-wells that comedy at the Raven is no joke. Besides putting on the best show we can for the audience, what the show at the Raven is about; or should be about to the comedians is to get better and to work on the craft of being a Stand-Up Comedian. Sure if you want to try it out you can, but if you’re going to come in and openly disrespect the room you can beat it. They did not take the advice and continued their poor attitude and were subsequently booted from the room. Like Tony Soprano says, “Those who want respect, give respect”.
As I write this blog I travel, 10,000 feet above the sky in route to sunny California and will not be back in time for the Raven next week. I’ll get someone else to do the report, but will do a recap of my trip a little over a week from today. Until then thanks for reading
4/5/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
4/5/12 Rooftop Comedy
Left to Right: Tim Ryan, Chris Whitehair, Paul Kenton, Alex Grubard.
Temple University has officially knocked off Penn State in RooftopComedy.com’s National College Comedy Competition. As excited as we were to knock off the defending champion and advance to the quarterfinals for the first time since 2009, we understand that we need to keep looking ahead to our current and future rounds. Next, we have another online voting round against the winner of NYU vs. Columbia University. That voting round will be open from April 18th – 20th. Considering the amount of support we received against Penn State, we are pretty confident.
The semifinals are going to be an online roast round. The votes will once again be collected online. Finally, the top 4 school will have a highlight reel created, chronicling their ride through the competition. That highlight reel will be voted on, and the winning team will be put in the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Chicago. The point I’m trying to make, keep voting!
If anyone took the time to vote for us, thank you. It didn’t go unappreciated and and we couldn’t have done it without everyone else’s help! That’s not just for the last round, though. That’s for the entire competition. The fact that it is an online competition kind of taints the very idea of stand-up comedy. Everything is going viral nowadays. I guess stand-up comedy is no different. Either way, please keep up the support! Why? Cause I’m finna go to Chicago fo free.
4/4/12 Boxing Training
I started boxing training today. My trainer started me off with analysis of my condition which included cardio followed by technique. After 10 minutes on the elliptical machine, I excused myself to the bathroom, where I threw up. I don’t think my trainer was aware of that. However, after my first attempt at boxing, I feel like my technique was somewhat decent. I tired very easily during the boxing exercises and at the end of our 1 hour work out, my trainer said I was in horrible shape. That’s the first time in my life I’ve heard that and I can’t disagree. I elected to take five more sessions and then play it by ear from there. After leaving the gym, I needed to sit down and I found a bench in a park where I fell asleep for an hour.
Every comedian hates a heckler. They’re rude, disruptive, probably drunk and usually more insecure than the comedian they’re heckling (which isn’t easy). I see something like this, and the word redemption comes to mind.
4/2/12 Rooftop College Comedy Competition
Be thankful I don’t go to your school. Just vote here http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/college/okvote?match=2
3/29/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
Since getting married, my wife has purchased me a multitude of various sweaters. At first the sweaters were not well received and I was hesitant to wear them. But by the third time I put one on I was hooked. Wearing a sweater feels like my torso is inside of a Teddy Bear. Please ignore that last sentence, it made me sound like a pedophile fluffer. Sweaters are so warm and cozy that I also look and feel less like a scumbag when I’m rocking one. So in conclusion: sweaters are awesome.
3/27/12 Rooftop Comedy
2 weeks ago Temple University went head to head with Penn State in a comedy competition at Helium Comedy Club. Temple killed it. Each team was narrowed from 8 to 4 to represent their school. Representing Temple University: Alex Grubard, Tim Ryan, Paul Kenton and myself. Representing Penn State University, a really good lawyer. Haha. Even after the competition, I’m still full of Penn State jokes. For real, though, the final 4 from Penn State are a solid team too. The next round is an online voting round which is open from April 1st – April 4th.
Penn St is the returning champion, and an Temple is more than primed for an upset. However, Happy Valley has a lot more students who are really proud of their university. Temple on the other hand, not so much. Since they have thousands of caring students on campus willing to help them out, what do you say you help me out? I’m just saying you owe me a favor anyway so you might as well vote for me and the rest of the Temple team April 1st – 4th!
3/26/12 New York City
I’ve been living in New York for a week now in Astoria, Queens. Day 1 was memorable as I bumped into Louis C.K. on my way to a catering interview in the Village. I didn’t say anything to him because I made it a policy a few years back, not to talk to celebrities. I always feel worse about myself after talking to a celebrity because I am incredibly self conscious over possibly having a dumb conversation. In any event, Louis was shooting a promo for the new season of Louie so I sat on a sunny bench behind the set for a few hours and watched. That’s about it. New York is cool.
3/23/12 Raven Report
Round 2 of March Madness was this week and shit was cray (young people’s way of saying crazy). 8 comedians performed and 4 advanced. The 4 who advanced and will be performing next week for 2 spots are Omar Scruggs, Steve Miller Miller, Lisa Yost and Trevor Cunnion. Overall it was a great show that stayed packed throughout the night (not too shabby). Be sure to make it out next week for the final four at the Raven to see who will be performing at the finals at Helium on April 3rd!
3/23/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
3/23/12 Chef Ramsey
What are you doing! Come on! Looks like dog fight, but a dog wouldn’t eat this! These are just some of the quotes that make Chef Gordan Ramsey so entertaining to watch. I watch Kitchen Nightmare (American & BBC version), Hells Kitchen, Master Chef and I will watch his new show called Hotel Hell. Chef Ramsey literally just curses people out for a living at this point. My favorite is when he throws the food on the floor or smashes under cooked fish under the palm of his hand while screaming “It’s Raw!”. I respect Chef Ramsey because he preaches high standards and hard work.
3/21/12 March Madness 2012
Live from Drinker’s West, meet some of the contestants as they step off stage after the Sunday Night bracket. Shouts to Jamil B and SeeU TV!
3/19/12 Raven Report
This past Thursday saw the first round of the 2nd Annual March Madness Comedy tournament that is held throughout the independent open mic scene in Philadelphia that includes 72(ish) comedians and 4 different venues. At the Raven 16 comedians performed and 8 advanced. The 8 that advanced and will be performing this upcoming Thursday are Steve Miller-Miller, Omar Scruggs, Tyler Rothrock, Trevor Cunion, Ken BDC, Lisa Cost, Mike Casey, Dan Scully
In other news there was a Mac from “Always Sunny” sighting, but apparently a drunken harlot danced up on him and scared him away. Also the 3rd half had the best 3rd half crowd I have ever seen.
Kind of a long blog I know, but I was lucky to be apart of this pilot and I am proud of it, I hope you folks enjoy! Next week we will be back with a brand new H.Foley’s Super Happy Blog Hour. Until then stay black!
3/14/12 Law & Order
I love to watch Law & Order SVU (Special Victims Unit). Sometimes I wake up feeling so positive and self assured, then I watch an episode of SVU and give up on humanity. I don’t just watch the show, I get emotionally attached to some of the stories. Stabler is my favorite character, he gets so angry so fast. If you turn away for one second, and then look back you usually find Stabler choking the shit out of a pedophile. Stabler is no longer on SVU but he will live on in each depressing rerun.
I have been searching for apartments in NYC recently. With a budget under $700 I first looked into Bushwick, Brooklyn and I have to say that I really don’t like the vibe of that place. Not only is it filled with hipsters, but it’s very industrial (warehouses, loading buildings, etc.). So it’s a bunch of kids trying really hard to look a certain way in a place where people used to try really hard to make an honest living. Anyways, I found a place in Astoria, Queens. It’s a bit secluded but I felt at home when I went to check out my apartment, there were tons of old people with walkers moseying down the sidewalks. For some reason, I feel more comfortable being around old people than young people. What does that say about me? Hmmm? I don’t know, but this just got very honest.
3/13/12 Lenny Bruce
This is a great documentary on Lenny Bruce.
3/9/12 Raven Report
Before I start the blog this week I have to make a revision. Last week I said that the March Madness tournament started this week, when in actuality it starts this upcoming week. Ooops, I’m sorry, My bad yo.
3/8/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
I Have food poisioning, I hope! I haven’t felt this way since i did a cleanse back in 08′ enjoy my pain.
There will not be a zombie apocalypse but individuals who believe there be one tend to be insane. How can you believe the world at some point will be over run with zombies, but you can’t understand why you’re a virgin. Maybe if you stop buying artillery and invest that extra money in prostitutes, you might not worry about zombies so much. Guess what if there is a zombie apocalypse the odds you having sex at that point becomes even smaller. No, I can’t use a gun but I’ve made sweet love to a women.
3/8/12 Joseph Kony
Joseph Kony is the world’s most wanted man. He’s also one of the world most demented individuals. His crimes against humanity and acts of war can’t be ignored any longer. You don’t need to go to the website (http://kony2012.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com/) to contact celebrities and congressman or sign the digital petition. All you need to do is spread awareness. As a comic, I feel like it’s my responsibility to write a joke about this. Not just because it’s a hot topic, not for the shock value, not even because the video/idea has gone viral. I wanna do it because it’s the right thing to do. If I can educate even one person with the correct facts and convince them to do the same every time I tell this bit, I’ve done my job. As a member of a global community, it’s the least I can do. If every comedian felt this way and took on the same responsibility that I feel, the world would know about this man in no time. As Joseph Kony has proved, we don’t live in a perfect world though..
3/7/12 The Get Up
Philly hip-hop trio Ground Up is officially 10 mixtapes deep with their latest project, The Get Up. You’re missing out if you aren’t listening. Just put it on repeat and enjoy.
3/5/12 Talent ‘Agency’
Sometimes I wonder if my skepticism has ever prevented me from capitalizing on an opportunity. Last Thursday, I was approached by a general talent scout who set me up with an interview with his talent ‘agency’. The first alarm went off in my head when I saw that he was approaching a lot of people, which made it seem that this was not very selective. In any event, I didn’t think it would hurt to go to the meeting. Come Saturday, I show up to a cattle call with a bunch of untalented looking mu’fuckas. They put us in a room where we wait for 45 minutes while Glee is playing in the forefront. This increased my level of anger and I started cursing the place and employees under my breath. A half hour later, I’m brought in for a one-on-one where some douche is giving me a pitch and I immediately ask him if there are any fees associated with ‘signing’ with this ‘agency’. He skirts the issue well enough for me to accept the next round of interviews the following day. Now on Sunday, I’m sitting in the same place and wait three hours for another one-on-one interview with the VP of the ‘agency’. After we talk about my progress in the entertainment business, she tries to sell me something called ‘The Event’ where I pay $1,695 to show up to a meeting with “famous people and managers.” So I says to the broad, “Wait, you are not an agency!?” Her: “No, we help you meet the right people.” In my head, I told myself I was going to snap if these assholes turned out to be the scam artists that they were, but instead I countered with an offer of zero dollars and commission for them from any work I book. She declined and started yelling at me, seemingly to intimidate me and then began name dropping, still trying to sell me on this bullshit. I’m cringing now recalling this. I kind of regret not bringing my fantasy to fruition of going ballistic in that place. Instead, I flashed my signature shit eating grin at her, walked out peacefully, and didn’t tell the other people waiting that they were about to be sold on a scam. What if it wasn’t a scam, but a decent opportunity that just took some investment? Fuck ‘em. Hopefully, my gut is right on this one.
3/2/12 Raven Report
Twas a quiet night last night, some would say the calm before the storm. Ya see, next week marks the beginning of the 2nd annual March Madness tournament, brought to you by Rittenhouse Comedy, Center City Comedy and Laughs on Fairmount and is being held at 4 different open mics throughout the city and includes 70 comedians! It goes throughout the entire month, with less and less comedians making the cut every week and culminates with the elite 8 finals, at Helium Comedy Club on April the 3rd (last year’s finals had 300 people at Mat River Manayunk). Comedians advance by audience vote which means theses shows are packed to the brim with friends and family, and exposes even more people to the flourishing comedy scene in Philadelphia. If you plan on coming next week plan on getting their early cause that joint is going to be crazy. Look for the full report on Round 1 next week!
3/1/12 Feature Article
2/29/12 Better Late Than Never
Slackin on the blog, my bad. Excuse us for diligently working on our tour. Okay, I haven’t been spending all my time on the tour. I’ve been fascinated with documentaries lately: Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, Hugh Hefner, Bruce Lee. I’ve just been studying some real interesting people. I spent my day watching documentaries about Batman. This was my favorite one. If you like super heroes, you’ll love this.
2/29/12 Black History Month and Ancestry.com
Since black history month is coming to an end I’ve been searching the web for more Ancestry.com commercials. I will find a new black Ancestry.com commercial every Wednesday in March (how convenient).
2/27/12 CCC National Tour
Hey y’all Center City Comedy is currently booking our first national tour! We will be coming to a bar, college, or club near you. Download our press kit from our ‘Mission’ tab. And if you want to book us, contact us at email@example.com or call the Hotline at 215-650-7447…seriously…
2/24/12 Raven Report
Hey everybody this is Tom Cassidy with the top 5 moments and events of Center City Comedy at the Raven Lounge on February 23rd, 2012.
2/23/12 The Illusion of a Booked Show
Tuesday night at Noche, I was going over my set while half participating in a conversation with Philly comics and good friends, John Nunn and Ian Fidance. Nunn is an outstanding comic I’m starting to build a stronger rapport with, and Ian is someone who’s work ethic and passion I truly admire. Ian has been getting a lot of work outside of the city lately and he made a fantastic point during this conversation. “In Philly you get tricked into thinking these open mics are real shows, but they’re just open mics.” More knowledge has never been dropped in the Philadelphia comedy circuit.
That’s part of what is so special about this scene. Damn near EVERY NIGHT there is an open mic where comedians can get on stage for FREE, get a full 3-10 minutes (depending on where you fall in the line up) AND there’s a great audience that consistently forces you to grow every second you’re on stage. Apparently, in several other scenes and cities across the nation, this is unheard of for an open mic. We are truly spoiled here in the city of brotherly love.
However, one would be foolish to consider these shows open mics. Because of the audience turn out and the fantastic feel these open mics produce, the comics who run the rooms need to treat their open mics like a show case. There is a rhyme and reason to who is going to be placed where in the line up. Sure, subpar comedians and rookies are thrown a bone to help them get a true feel for this experience. Just because they aren’t as good as the featured acts at Helium and The Laff House, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a shot to prove themselves and have some fun.
Many Philadelphia comics covet a first half and even early second half spots at an open mic like Raven Lounge. Yes, these shows are open mics, but they’re so much more than that. If we started stacking similar acts on top of each other, putting less experienced comics up back to back and giving undeserving people those prime time spots, we wouldn’t be producing the quality show that we do. If we didn’t produce a show that consistently drew a crowd. Without a crowd, we don’t have an audience, without an audience, we don’t have a show. If there’s no show, there’s no outlet for us to express out creativity.
All I’m saying is, don’t be intimidated by these overbearing rooms we’ve created. Treat these open mics like open mics and have fun. There aren’t talent scouts in the room, let’s be real. Don’t forget that we need to maintain the quality and integrity of the room, though. Do new shit, do old shit, spit your tightest 5; we don’t care. Just make sure you give the audience members a good show and try to set the crowd up for the following comic. In short, just make progress and be better.
2/23/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
2/23/12 General Fatness
Here are two reasons I need to get myself together.
2/22/12 Muhammad Ali
I spent all day watching this and you should too.
2/20/12 Sobriety = Boredom
Hey folks! Didn’t drink this weekend, so I had plenty of time to design my new t-shirt. Check it out!
2/17/12 Raven Report
The tension and excitement at 1718 Sansom Street in the heart of Center City was palpable this rainy Thursday past. As the production company prepared the audio and lighting to document the night ahead, comedians clamored to see if they were on the featured first half showcase. If they were one of the chosen they waited and prepared; some manically, some quietly, some creepily (John Nunn), but wait they did. The other comedians who were not as fortunate were all disappointed and they all showed that disappointment differently. Before the show Cotton talked to both the lucky and the unlucky comedian as they huddled in a circle while the cameras rolled, talking about what comedians talk about. As I took the stage to host I explained the situation at hand. “Hey everybody, we are doing a live taping for Comcast tonight so please have a great time and stay loose and natural while we film”. The camera man in the DJ booth and in the back solidified my words. I was on stage for about 10 minutes and it was an uphill battle to say the least. My first few jokes received lukewarm responses as well did my attempts at crowd work (how could I turn down a man in his mid twenties with a porn mustache). As my set went on it varied from tepid to warm. Thoughts on my set from others varied from “Classy” to “Bad” and as I write this 3 days later it has rarely left my mind; through a great set on Friday, followed up with a weekend full of things that 26 year old men desire. As the show went along the audience settled in and were treated to 13 comedians. The order went Kevin Ryan, Alex Grubard, Lisa Yost, John Nunn, Ryan Shaner, Conrad Roth, Steve Miller-Miller, Doogie Horner, H. Foley, David Ray Ageykum, Jack Martin, John Mckeever and Chris Cotton. The debate this week had to do with the cast of Seinfeld and Friends, but although funny at times had no real organization and was extremely muddled throughout (The debate about nothing). During the extended intermission I interviewed audience members in the upstairs bathroom, patrons downstairs, and comedians outside. Across the street was a hulking black school bus that Foley and Conrad used to interview comedians who had appeared on the first half. I was told the interviews went swimmingly. The second half was started abruptly, but once it started it did not stop. The cameras were no longer present, but the audience was. The show went on, as it does every Thursday. Until next week.
I’ve seen alotta people make signs for sporting events, but this is by far the best one ever!
2/16/12 H. Foley’s Super Happy Blog Hour
2/14/12 Valentine’s Day
If you’re alone on Valentine’s day, give us a call…
2/14/12 Ground Up
Philly should be proud of this one. Ground Up x Freeway x Jahlil Beats
“The ones that are successful are the ones that loved what they did so they could persevere when it got really tough; and the ones that didn’t love it, quit.”
2/12/12 H. Foley’s Super Happy Blog Hour
2/12/12 March Madness
Last year, Philly comedian (and world renowned dentist), Paul Goodman, had an amazing idea. Inspired by the College Basketball Tournament, he proposed a Philadelphia March Madness Comedy Competition. With the help of the comics who run do us all the service of running these outstanding open mics night after night, his vision came to life. 64 comedians entered, Jon DelCollo left a champion. I remember last year’s competition so vividly. I was only a year and a half in, I was performing at The Raven Lounge with a lot of strong competition. The vibe was amazing, the room was packed and everyone was having fun. After I got off stage, I knew the audience enjoyed my time but, I still didn’t feel like I had a good set. However, a few comedians told me it was the best they’ve ever seen me do. Much to my surprise, I advanced to the next round. I was bounced out of the competition the next week. If I were to make an excuse as to why, I’d blame it on nerves. I don’t play that shit, though. We all know rule #76.
Either way, the March Madness Comedy Competition did more for this city and this scene than it will ever know. It creates amazing shows and open mics for a month, It creates the right vibe at every venue, It structures the proper way for comics to conduct themselves at a show, it brings comics together (as friends and colleagues), it helps a comedian grow (as both a performer and writer), and so many other things I’m not going to make you read. Just know this, March Madness means more to Philly than Basketball. It’s about increasing the quality of comedy for/by everyone involved. If you’re not a part of this, you’re really missing out.
This year I’m very excited to see how everything goes down! Unfortunately, I won’t be able to participate in March Madness this year. Reason being, I’m interning for Center City Comedy and helping out at the Raven on Thursday’s (anyone who runs a show is not allowed to be a part of the competition). I completely understand where Paul is coming from and I’m excited to be behind the scenes . The best part is, things are already starting to heat up. Philly comics and good friends Brian Finnell and LUMP are going to be featured in a beard-off. Loser will shave his beard and maybe even delete his twitter account (@bfinlcomedy vs. @_Lump). Check out the promo video (shouts to Jamil B. for the video production) I posted above for my favorite subplot of the Philadelphia March Madness Comedy Competition.
If you want more information on this competition, visit http://www.facebook.com/events/276714075715573/
2/10/12 The Raven Report: Volume 2
Hey Party People. Here we are with the Raven Report: Volume Deuce. We had a packed room when the very young and very funny Ryan Shaner (he’s single ladies) took the stage at 9 o’clock on the dot. In this report I would like to break the show’s highlights into bullet points.
- Steve Miller Miller went first and asked a birthday girl from the audience (shout out to Shamarra?) if she wanted to hear a dirty set; or a clean set. She chose the dirty set. No young Asian men’s mouth or butt was spared. Hilarity ensued.
- H Foley did an extended set early and dropped the hammer. He had a looseness that came from being drunk and on the road since 630 AM with little to no sleep (more on that later)
- The debate topic this week. Who would make a better AA Sponsor? Justin Timberlake or Mark Zuckerberg; founder of facebook. Sydeny Gant (Mark Zuckerberg) won out over Steve Slaughter (JT) with the argument that Mark has enough money to just pay someone else to be sober for you. If you have a drug and alcohol problem please visit http://www.aa.org/?
Media=PlayFlashor just learn how to handle your booze.
- I hosted the 2nd half and was a bit worried before hand. I had been in New York all day for an audition for a comedy competition (irony) and was on little to no sleep or food. Before I went up I had 3 girl scout cookies, a 5 hour energy, and a redbull and vodka. After my heart exploded I had a manic set, that I think at the very least had the audience intrigued.
- Steve Slaughter went first on the second half and had a strong set. Afterwards I said he looked like a cat and repeated it 2 times, until a young black woman in the audience said “Not funny!”. She was right and the crowd burst into laughter. I noted her observation, moved on and plotted my revenge.
- Raven Lounge favorite Alex Grubard regaled the audience with his tale of working at American Video (so American it went out of business). The girl heckler from earlier felt the need to say “Next!” or something that was equally C wordy. I proceeded to tell her she was not the hooked cane at the Apollo and followed that up with comparing her boyfriend to the rapper Mase, then i told them to shut the fuck up. It was all in good fun; it worked well and I think I got my point across.
- The 3rd half was hosted by Conrad Roth and had one of my favorite moments in recent Raven memory. Toward the end of of the show Conrad had the idea of trying to make out with comedian Genevieve Sherrow after her performance. He gave it a go and got the turned head, prompting him to give an adorably aggressive kiss on the cheek.
- That was the show, but like Marvin Gaye says “Ain’t nothing the like the real thing”. So be sure to make it next Thursday at 9 for Center City Comedy at the Raven Lounge.
2/9/12 I Need to Eat Better
I have been in denial for a while, because I eat horribly. I only eat once a day, which causes me to eat big horrible meals. My favorite foods are buffalo wings, hoagies, pizza and anything else that can send me to an early grave. I’ve recently started “attempting” to eat healthier. I even bought hummus and pita chips, what’s healthier than hummus? I know fruits and vegetables are pretty healthy. The only problem with eating healthy food is it just isn’t as delicious as something deep fried in butter. I mean only every now and then do you stumble onto something healthy and delicious.
2/8/12 Gas House Radio
This Monday I recorded my first podcast with Center City Comedy on Gas House Radio: Ridin The Bull episode #14. I had a great time with Jim and the guys. It was pretty interesting. I’m looking forward to going to the next one.
2/8/12 Kids With Rickets
Philadelphia sketch group “Kids With Rickets” was working on a new sketch at the Raven Lounge last week. I had never seen it before, and it had me rolling. if you listen hard enough, you can hear me laughing in the background. Sorry for the wait…
2/6/12 Sick Discovery
After performing at a horrible comedy show this Saturday, I got food poisoning too! Which consists of throwing up on and off for a few hours, the chills, body aches, and sleeping for 3 straight days. Now, imagine food poisoning on top of that! Kidding. So as I was laid up this weekend afraid to eat or drink, I was farting around on YouTube and came across a brilliant clip of Bill Hicks’. I remember watching some of his stuff earlier in my life and giving up on him because I didn’t think he was funny. However, as I get older and further into my comedy career, I realize what an amazing performer he truly was. Bill Hicks was simply over my head. Sometimes it’s not as important to be funny as it is captivating. Bill Hicks captivated audiences with a smooth conviction of his views on right, wrong, and life. Enjoy the clip below! I can’t remember anyone presenting such a powerful opinion on the meaning of life.
2/4/12 H. Foley’s Super Happy Blog Hour
2/3/12 The Raven Report – Volume 1
2/1/12 Hard At Work
Here’s a sketch we shot awhile back called “Around Philly.”
Here’s Chris Cotton, on set, behind the scenes.
2/1/12 Blake Griffin
This just needs to be seen again.
2/1/12 Time for a Change
In the last few months I just realized I’m fat. I knew I gained some weight but damn. Is it definitely time to make some real changes. So many black comedian are having complications with there health. At some point you have to open yours eyes and take charge of your personal health. I’ve been going to the gym every weekday and I only do about a half hour of cardio. I still have to eat a little better. I’m not a snacker I mostly eat at bad times and I might only eat two meals a day. I’m sorry I have to cut this blog short but my buffalo wings are getting cold. If I run out of wings I drink the ranch dip.
1/31/12 The Weather
60 Degree Weather on January 31st!?!? Jeez…Watch this video.
1/30/12 Acting Classes
Today is the first day of acting classes for me. In 2 years, you will be asking yourself, “What ever happened to Ethan Hawke?”. That’s because there’s not enough room in this world for the both of us! I suppose it’s more likely you’ll ask, “What ever happened to Conrad Roth?”. And that’s because I’ll be too busy doing extra work.
1/27/12 Audi Ad
This is a cool spot.
1/26/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
1/26/12 Joe Paterno
All jokes aside, this is a tragic loss not just for a single university or state, but to the human race.
Check out Center City Comedy on this week’s episode of Cheapodcast hosted by our good friends Darryl Charles and James Hesky.
1/25/12 There is an “I” in comedian, and also in friends
1/24/12 Women – The New White Devil (especially the white ones)
It might be time for me to retire from drinking. The only way to describe my hangovers is, suicidal…due to insanely increased anxiety. Also, when I’m hungover, the chances of defecating my trousers increases substantially, I’ve found. Third, my best drinking days are behind me. As I get older, there are no more amazing parties or events that I haven’t already been to. And I’ve been in enough trouble whether it’s lighting dumpsters on fire or throwing CO2 containers through apartment windows. My drinking career was memorable, or not?, but now I feel like Jordan did when he was on the Wizards and hopefully I can stop myself before I draft Kwame Brown. Now what will I do? Wait until I’m 65 so I can start doing heroin without guilt? Maybe I’ll just get married.
1/23/12 The Get Up
1/18/12 Protect IP
I know it’s not my day to blog, but with sites like Reddit and Wikipedia shutting down, I think it’s important to take the time to check this out.
1/18/12 Don’t Stress, Just Tell Jokes
1/18/12 Too Late
I’m late on my blog, but I hope it’s not to late to express my feelings this week on a particular topic; which is being late. A big part of being a young comedian is not being late, but in fact being early. Emphasis on young meaning new. If you’re a feature or headliner you get cut a little slack because you’re not opening up the show. Being on time; meaning early is good for many reasons. 1. You look Professional (that’s how you want to look). 2. It gives you time to get settled and size up the room and the particular audience that night (very important if your hosting) 3. It gives you time to get a drink (loosen up a little baby).
1/17/12 Happy 70th Birthday Champ
“I figured if i said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.” – Muhammad Ali
1/16/12 New Video
We quickly edited a video today that we shot just as quickly during our Hotline sketch. I was nervous about releasing this to the world before I remembered that George Carlin blew a truck driver in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
1/14/12 Service Industry Redemption
Yesterday at work I had a party of 3 girls at my table. They left me a $4 tip on a $40 bill. Last time I checked, that’s not 20%. Carissa left me her number on the check. This is our conversation after I clocked out.
1/12/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
Due to censorship “The H.Foley Super Happy Blog Hour” will not be seen this week. However I found this clip that comedian Doug Stanhope tweeted today. All comics should watch it. It is a great video and very funny!
See you tonight at the Raven where I will be getting bombed at the back bar starring at Candice’s boobies before an “ok” set. On a lighter side my new biussnes cards came in. hit me up for one if you can do anything for my career or are a hot chic because my personal life is on the rocks and my girlfriend has one foot out the door, and half a tit in her ex’s mouth. p.s. your dead Carlos.
1/11/12 Cotton’s Self Reflection Corner
If you read my last blog “All Comedian Stink” you might say I’m a negative person. I was told to write a happier blog by my Center City Comedy colleagues. So I argued and told them to shut up. At the core of all my best jokes usually there’s something negative. Write a happier blog “shut up” nobody cares about what my favorite TV shows or movie is (Family Guy and Braveheart). The people want anger, blood, and death. In Rome they went to the Coliseum to watch Gladiators kill each other. No one wanted to see Friday nightpuppies fight, bring out the big dogs, where’s the scandal. I don’t try to be negative for shock value. Since I was a kid I have always expressed my self-best with negativity. Like they say “write what you know” and I know negativity.
1/10/12 Tommy on Timmy
Tim Tebow. Proof that God cares more about football than 3rd World Countries. All off color jokes aside though, Mr. Tebow is the biggest story in the NFL this year hands down. Everyone; and I mean everyone has an opinion on Timmy. Christians obviously love him, anti-christians hate him, and sports pundits have been on both polarizing sides throughout the season. Tim’s own penis is confused as to why it’s on the bench and not working over-time. All football puns aside, the first I heard about #15 was back in his Florida days. Back then, what I gathered was that he was an ultra-religious, VIRGIN quarterback, that didn’t have the arm to be viable in the NFL. Just graduating college at the time I thought this kid was an absolute fraud, for the sheer fact that he claimed to be a virgin. I mean have you seen Florida’s campus.
I didn’t believe that a college QB, let alone a Heisman QB from Florida could remain a virgin with all of that temptation; and my God there must have been temptation (did you look at that picture). I didn’t believe he could keep little timmy tucked away; much like the analysts on ESPN didn’t believe he could be a successful starting quarterback in the NFL. Through everything though Tebow stayed humble, worked hard and continued to talk to Jesus before, during and after the game like a male Joan of Arc. What he lacked in skill he made up for in leadership. Team’s want a leader to rally around and he’s got it in spades (or in his case Jesus crosses). Whether his kicker Matt Prater buries 51 yard field goals or his wide receiver Demaryius Thomas runs 80 yards after a 15 yard pass in OT, win or lose all eyes are on “God’s Quarterback”. As well they should be. Regardless of if you have a Teboner or not, it’s hard to not appreciate the fact that he’s a genuinely good kid which is more then refreshing in a sport’s culture that involves rape scandals, dog fighting and domestic abuse. All that being said Timmy will probably have to say a couple extra Rosaries this Sunday against Tom Brady and The Pats.
1/9/12 This Weekend’s Shoot
This weekend we shot a new sketch for centercitycomedy.com. Never drink on a loose sketch! After 3 Jim Beam rocks, I placed myself in some very compromising situations. When we release ‘Hotline,’ I don’t think my career will ever be the same. Not to mention, our impromptu recording of another Even Williams commercial… with pornstar Matt Stuffers. That will surely put the nail in the coffin of any career that I could have had.
See the first improved Evan Williams commercial starring Chris Cotton on a previous scheduled shoot of the ‘Paintballing With Rambo’ video.
1/6/12 Banned From TV
The creative process…
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1/5/12 Super Happy Blog Hour
Watch Foley’s weekly video blog!
1/4/12 All Comedians Stink
Contrary to popular belief every comedian you know and/or love at one point in their career they weren’t funny. It is a long hard process to develop into a funny comedian. A pivotal part of becoming a good comedian is trial and error, which a lot of times can result in bombing. Having a bad set isn’t necessarily a horrible thing, as a comic this is how you truly become better. Throughout your whole career you will have good days and bad days. The key is to learn from the bad days, and use the good days as small victories to stack your confidants for future failure. So you don’t hang yourself after bombing at an open mic at 7pm on a Tuesday.
Most extremely successful people are never satisfied with their accomplishment, so they always try to outdo themselves. After almost a year of telling jokes the day I became a better comedian is also the day I realized “I Stink” as a comedian. I believe that real moment of extreme self-reflection has to take place in order for true growth to begin to take place as a comedian. If you don’t think you ever stunk, then you’re probably one of the worst comedians on the scene. There’s no reason you shouldn’t know you stink, just pay attention to the way people react to your jokes on average. If 9 out of 10 times you tell jokes people don’t laugh. YOUR NOT FUNNY, so stop telling jokes, it’s been a two years; your jokes got a chuckle twice, let the dream go. The comedians in the back of the room are the only people laughing (their laughing at you because you don’t realize you stink), but the actually audience looks confused and uncomfortable. Then please stop ruining open mics, and creating horrible once a month shows. Go get a job at Ikea, or jump off a bridge as long as you’re not telling jokes the world is a better place.
1/3/12 Podcast Interview
On my first blog I would like to suggest one of my favorite podcasts “The Blake Wexler Show” from Philadelphia native Comedian Blake Wexler who is now based in Los Angeles. Blake is a super nice fellow who also happens to be one of my favorite Philly Comics. The podcast is really cool because his guests vary from comedians from Philadelphia; like the good looking Bird Text group to National Headliners like Todd Glass. No matter who the guest is it’s a very nice and funny conversational tone throughout that I look for when listening to a podcast (the only other podcast I listed to is WTF). Center City Comedy will be on the “Blake Wexler Show” tomorrow so look for that episode soon.
Philadelphia kicks of every new year with back-to-back days of heavy drinking. New Years Eve is just like every other city, an over-hyped night that rarely reaches expectations, but New Years Day features the Mummers Parade. “Parade” is code for: drinking in public is not illegal today. Mummers is essentially Mardis Gras only it’s harder for women to lift up their winter jackets to flash everyone. Locals from South Philly form clubs and spend months preparing floats and costumes for the march down Broad Street during the day and later down 2nd Street, where people drink until their brains shut off. 2nd Street is called 2 Street and once the sun goes down it becomes a nightmare, only it’s fun because everyone is wasted. Grown men dressed up as clowns walk down 2 Street followed by mobs of zombified drunks. However, the real nightmare begins January 2nd when everyone has to go back to work after the holidays, hungover as balls. That’s Philly…extremes…elation followed by horror. This post may come off a bit negative and that’s because it’s January 2nd, I’m hungover, and trapped in the eye of a Shame Tornado. Happy New Year!
Philadelphia Hip-Hop trio Ground Up stays producing good music. Their newest project, The Get Up, is slated to release on 3/6/12.
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The guys from Bird Text present: The Real Househusbands of Philadelphia (Part 4). Always a good watch.
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Contrary to popular belief, black people play hockey.
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Meek Mill Reebok Classic Shoot
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